Jumaat, April 20, 2007

a tale from christine

Dear Shah,

Good to hear from you. Your worries about theory mirror mine. I realise my old favourites from last year will not support my interests this year. I have been reading the work of Japanese writer Murakami -- literature for me this time around rather than anime, so as close as I could come to the hyperreal style -- and decided that I need to know more about "simulacrum." So I am about to start researching Jean Baudrillard, to see if he will be of any use to my understanding of the way the world turns.

Sam has just arrived and gone off with Murakami's "Norwegian Wood" to see what he thinks of the novel. I did miss you at the graduation ceremony. Your name was in the program as having completed the MA, with Nicholas Berry-Smith's and Alex Vickery-Howe who graduated in creative arts (drama) and whom I have known since he was about 4 years old, as I taught some years with his mother. Strange the way the world turns. I have some spare copies if you would like me to send them. Maybe your parents wouldlike one.

I emailed Cole. He is very busy but invites me to drop around sometime. I can't see it happening soon as I am so rarely at Sturt. If I hear anything about the short films etc for 2007, I'll let you know. I must remember to ask about them when the time comes. I went to listen to Taikoz, a Japanese style drumming company, at the Festival Theatre on Thursday. The treat was a present from my sister. It was a joyous and cathartic experience generating much positive energy.

Molly and Frisky are fine. We will walk them when Val gets back from squash. Yoyo had fun climbing trees this morning, with Boo the cat from next door. Merry is asleep inside. He spends the night on patrol in the garden and is worn out with his vigilance. He says, with distain, that play is only for the young ones (Yoyo). Miaow.

How is Nora? I hope that she has settled happily into her new routine. And I hope it rains soon -- pelts. The soil is very dry.

Take care,
Christine

Khamis, April 19, 2007

you wanna drink or sumthin?

I thought I wanna write this blogs last night but I was exhausted pertaining to what I have done with reading and litt review lately - kick ass! It was killin me...why there are so many bloody theories in this fuckin world? People live happily and so what they come out with theory..people died and dying in the battle...and hey, I have another theory to say here! My goodness! Fortunately, I dun live with this and that theory or I shall become lunatic!

allrighty...I spent my time like an hour or something in the library yesterday purposely just trying to figure out which books and journals should I read. For that matter, me, walking around on and off from one to another bookshelves hardly trying to make sure I got everything I want. It was not simple as I might think actually. Besides, everybody were staring at me and whispered each other who is this idiot anyway? fuckin hell!

Fortunately, everything was done earlier and I quickly stepped out from the library without using an escalator (Would you believe that? This library has an escalator!) and I barely even thought about it as I want to read everything as soon as I can. Then I ran back to my office and get my ass back on workin space, but this friendly Trent was asking me to join him and other guys for a drink. "Heya, Shah! How you doin mate? you wanna beer or somethin? lets join us for a talk!"

hmmm....not bad, hey! But I dun drink...my father would kick my ass if he knew it. "Dun worry , you can have soft drink if you wont have beer"..ok then..."Why you dun drink Shah? Is that because of religious matter? Why all people in this world will stop saying ahh..you cannot do this and that...blah blah blah..."..opss..please..not another stupid theory...you guys supposed to know why I dun drink...pfftt...I kinda hate it...

Jumaat, April 13, 2007

katakan padaku

katakan padaku
sejak puisi mengalir
sejak langit meratap
mengapa air mata ku
terasa baru bagai embun, terasa baru?

burung rembang membuka sayap
daun-daun menjadi lebih redup
aku lewat lagi berdayung di depanmu
kau siap lagi berdiri di tebing

semua pepohon menjadi sepohon di sampingmu
semua detik menjadi sedetik di matamu
sungai ini pun terasa betapa gemuruh
menyambut semarak api di bahumu

katakan padaku
sejak malam menjelma
sejak maut menyentuh
mengapa sepi jiwamu
terasa baru bagai pedihku terasa baru?

- ditulis oleh Latiff Mohidin dan dinyanyikan oleh Ahmad Ramli-

I would love to dedicate this songs to anyone out there who knows how to sing it..enjoy...

Isnin, April 09, 2007

e-mail from christine

Dear Shah,
Today is a glorious sunny day and the temperaturehas upped to 30 degrees. We've had a good Easter Break sofar. We had friends for dinner on Friday and my familyyesterday. I had forgotten what it is like to be on my feetall day COOKING and serving food, but the result was worthit -- appreciated. No eggs this year (the boys have grown up) except thereal variety from our chooks, but my sister brought somewonderful chocolates from the chocolate shop at Balhannah.Yoyo and Merry had extra milk and a bite from Friday's lamb.
Frisky and Molly had the bones from the roast on both days,an extra walk from Sam on Friday, and three rounds of theoval with Val and I yesterday. Mind you Molly is alreadypestering for her walk today. I, too, am going to some short courses beginning thisweek with Endnote. However, no doubt I'll get confusedbecause English still uses footnotes. Later in the semesterthere is other stuff on Thesis writing and preparation.Every little insight into the formal process helps. I'm getting stuck into Japanese contemporary novels, asthese will form the jumping off point for my study.
The reading is fascinating -- yes even the theory. At the momentall things Japanese are grist for the mill with me. I emailed the Big Man, but I have no reply as yet. Nodoubt he is up to his ears (busy) with teaching and his ownMA work. I must go and do some more reading now. I've just begunHaruki Murakami's "Hard-boiled Wonderland and the End of theWorld." It's intriguing and challenging stuff. Take care.

Cheers,
Christine

pergi ke state library

Pagi-pagi lagi aku dah keluar ke bandar untuk pergi ke State Library...kali ni aku kena hantar release form kat Anthony sebelum Helen kata kat aku "shah, you are bloody jerk"...ceh..macam laa aku ni bodoh sangat...sekali aku tempeleng kang hilang segala ilmu di dada..wakakakakaka...apa kabar erwan ya? bukan ke semalam dia pergi mengadap dewa?

harmony day

03-25-2006 at 09:12 PM

Pagi-pagi lagi aku dah bangun hari ni sebab nak pergi tengok tarian poco-poco sempena Harmony Day hari ni..Mula-mula aku ingat tak nak pergi tapi disebabkan si zura dan kak za pon dah ajak, dan kerja aku pn dah ok, aku pon pergi laa ke Warraparingga park tu untuk menonton persembahan pelbagai etnik..Tapi yang peliknya hari ni punya laa ramai warga Uzbekistan yang dah migrated ke Australia nih..Datuk Bandar yang seksi tu pun siap promote lagi suruh mana-mana insan terpilih yang rasa-rasa nak jadik warga Australia tu pergi memohon ke jabatan yang berkenaan..tapi seronok laa jugak sebab dapat bergaul dengan budak-budak dan golongan veteran...mula-mula aku ingatkan dah pergi salah tempat sebab yang ada cuma itik dan angsa, rupa-rupanya tak mula lagi..ceh!!

jom bangun pagi

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Kali ini aku memang mengaku sukar betul untuk bangkit awal pagi. Pelik betul anak-anak mat salleh ni. Mereka amat punctual dan datang tepat pada masanya. Nasib baik aku tak datang begitu lewat. Lagi pun bukannya banyak perkara yang boleh aku lakukan. Semua post dah dipenuhi. Teruk si Eliza ni. Sepatutnya bagi laa aku join lebih siket. Tapi nak buat macam mana dah pengalaman aku dalam bidang ni terhad. Kalau aku tahu dahulu dah lama aku buat bidang dokumentari masa kat UM dulu.

Aku terima e-mail dari Erwan pagi ni. Marah betul bunyinya. Pagi-pagi lagi aku dah jadik orang gila dok senyum sorang-sorang. Memang skeptikal betul mamat ni. Perangai dia lebih kurang sama macam Ahmad Najahalhayyi. Alahai Erwan jangan laa dok gelabah sangat. Baru kena ketuk siket dah terkezut. Tapi takpe aku akan tetap backing kau punya laa walau apa pun terjadi. Yang penting next time jangan nervous sangat.

Jumaat ni kami akan ke Melbourne dan Sydney. Kali ini mereka betul-betul nak guna Great Ocean Road. Aku dah browsed website pasal bende tu tadi. Memang mengagumkan. Kami akan bertolak selepas solat Isya' dan terus ke Mount Baker. Aku harap sangat kami akan dapat penginapan yang selesa di Sydney. Kalau di Melbourne takde laa bimbang sangat sebab boleh tidur kat rumah Abang Amir dan kak Ida. Apa pun selamat berjalan.

Suasana di flat cukup sepi. Tidak wujud suasana hiruk pikuk seperti di Kuala Lumpur. Hampir lima bulan aku di bumi asing. Semuanya tidak sama seperti di tanah tumpah darah sendiri. Semuanya bermula dengan tawaran yang kuterima kira-kira lapan bulan yang lalu. Sengaja tidak kuberitahu pada sesiapa kecuali keluarga dan teman rapatku Ika. Sehinggakan Erwan terasa berkecil hati dan tidak mahu menegurku hampir dua minggu jika aku tidak silap. Ah, maaf getusku.

Semua ini hadir tanpa ku duga. Satu peluang yang memang aku tunggu-tunggu sejak dahulu. Aku harus menerimanya tanpa berbelah bahagi. Cuma cabaran getir dan liku-liku yang mungkin menunggu selama aku dua tahun tercampak di bumi asing ini.Deruan angin cukup kuat dan dingin. Kesejukan yang biasanya memaksa aku mengenakan pakaian yang cukup tebal. Ku hidupkan pemanas agar kedinginan itu segera hilang. Fikiranku menerawang sebentar. Tugasan yang diberikan oleh pensyarah hampir selesai. Cuma beberapa perkara lagi yang perlu diambil kira seperti pemurnian ayat dan lukisan kasar untuk jalan cerita. Semuanya terlalu baru untukku. Aku hadir di sini dengan satu misi. Misi yang penuh dengan harapan agar aku dapat membawa pulang sesuatu yang baru dan dijadikan kekuatan bagi generasi masa hadapan.

Ahad, April 08, 2007

kisah dan tauladan

Aku masih ingat lagi ingat tentang satu kisah sang kancil menipu seisi ahli rimba dengan mengatakan langit hendak runtuh. Semuanya dilakukan oleh sang kancil semata-mata untuk mencari jalan bagaimana mahu keluar dari sebuah perigi buta yang dalam. Maka dikatanya kepada setiap haiwan dan unggas yang lalu di tepi perigi buta itu bahawa langit hendak runtuh.
"Jika tidak percaya dongaklah ke langit", katanya lagi. Maka didongaklah sekalian haiwan dan unggas rimba ke langit dan terlihat akan mereka awan yang bergerak-gerak. Tanpa berfikir panjang semuanya terjun ke dalam perigi buta termasuklah haiwan yang gagah perkasa seperti gajah dan harimau kerana percaya bahawa langit akan runtuh tidak lama lagi.

Maka perigi yang dalam menjadi sempit. Rasa tidak puas hati pun timbul kerana mahukan hak dan ruang. Kesempatan yang ada digunakan sang kancil untuk mencari helah. Ditendangnya badan si gagah perkasa dan ditipunya bahawa orang lain yang melakukannya. Tidak cukup itu diapi-apikan lagi. Maka undian dibuat dan sang kancil didapati bersalah lalu dihumban keluar dari perigi buta agar ditimpa langit yang bakal runtuh.

Betapa bodohnya haiwan yang lain ditipu sang kancil bulat-bulat. Termasuklah unggas yang membelah angkasa raya dan terbang pada kepulan awan. Juga haiwan yang gagah perkasa seperti gajah dan harimau. Pendek kata akal yang ada hendaklah diguna. Tidak perlu kita mudah melatah hanya kerana perkara yang kecil. Ya kecil.. seperti sang kancil...

'kalau mencari tempat mandi, pertama teluk kedua pantai, kalau mencari pemimpin negeri, pertama elok kedua pandai...'

Jumaat, April 06, 2007

a letter from Christine

Dear Shah,

I am glad to know your are settled in Melbourne. Is youraccommodation reasonable and handy to the university?

I have not seen Cole. I do not go very often to the SturtCampus (only if I need a certain library book), and Coledoesn't come to the main campus, I think. I'll email him andsee how he is going.
My principle supervisor is on leave this semester, but NickPrescott has been great starting me off. However, I wish hehad more time for discussion. I have so many questions andhave no one to bounce off along the way. I have met someother postgrads and can attend a seminar about every threeweeks with Jeri Kroll's group until my supervisor comesback. Do you get the opportunity to meet other postgrads inyour field?

The Easter break starts on Friday and I seem to have donenothing except read and look around. I think I amprocrastinating with my writing, although I wrote a poem andperformed it last night for our local Friendly Street Groupin the venue on Rundle Street. I also went to see a Germanfilm "The Lives of Others" at the Palace Eastend yesterdayafternoon. It was excellent. About a writer in East Germanybefore the Berlin Wall came down, and the machinations ofthe secret police (Stasi), as they control every facet of public and private life. An excellent story with honedcraftmanship.

My family is well. My mother and the boys are coming fordinner over Easter, and hopefully my sister and her husbandalso. My furry friends are fine and Yoyo and Molly arelively in the garden chasing anything that moves. Take careof yourself and keep in touch.
Cheers,
Christine

good friday

masa jalan kaki dengan zain ke Albanian Mosque kat Shakespeare St. tadi banyak kedai yang tutup..tapi kedai makan masih buka lagi....ramai sangat orang keluar makan hari ni...then Zain beritahu aku tadi hari ni Good Friday..alamak lupa pulak aku...patutlah waktu Christine beritahu aku dalam e-mailnya kelmarin tentang Easter...Sam dan Alex akan pulang ke rumahnya sempena Easter hari Isnin nanti...

oh ya...lupa nak beritahu...Zain adalah housemate aku...dia berasal dari karachi, Pakistan...ada sorang lagi Housemate yang baru akan datang esok..namanya Abi dari Indonesia...nampaknya agak international jugak housemate aku..hehehe...macam-macam....entah hapa-hapa laa....

My Umbrella...the scene which has to be remake...

My Umbrella; Memories come and go but love is forever.......

Anne is young mother living in a suburb of Cameron Highlands. She has a three year old son, Andre. A few months before his fourth birthday, Andre tests positive for leaukimia, and is given nfor six months to live. This news changes Anne's life. Not wanting to miss a minute of his short life, Anne spent all her time with Andre. But long before the six months are up, Andre dies.
This short stories begin with Anne not being able to accept Andre's death. Anne spends her time wallowing in memories of the times she spent with Andre. She diligently visits the places she once frequented with Andre. Soon, memories begin to blur with reality. Anne sometimes feels that Andre is still with her.

The times that she realises he is gone bring great sadness over her. Anne struggles with depression. On one of her many physical trips down memory lane, Anne loses her brightly coloured umbrella which has become a preciou, physical reminder of Andre.

The plot thicken when Anne goes in search for the umbrella as well as her strength to go on. What will happen to Anne? Will she find the umbrella? Will she find herself and the strength to let go of Andre? These questions are answered when a small miracled occurs......

Selasa, April 03, 2007

5 sec please

ada satu perkara yang aku tidak gemari dalam dunia ini iaitu ular..selain bentuknya yang agak menjengkelkan, ia amat bahaya kerana mengandungi bisa yang boleh membunuh manusia tidak sampai beberapa minit..Dalam mana-mana masyarakat sama ada timur atau barat sering mengangkat ular sebagai satu analogi atau peribahasa..dan tidak perlu diberitahu, bahawa dengan jelasnya ular merujuk kepada perkara yang lebih negatif berbanding positif..tetapi dalam masyarakat melayu terdapat juga peribahasa seperti ular yang menyusur akar, tiada hilang bisanya...ia membawa maksud orang besar yang merendahkan diri tidak akan jatuh martabatnya...

peribahasa atau analogi sebegini lebih bersifat positif kerana apa guna kita berlagak sombong sedangkan ilmu di dada tidak cukup lagi..samalah juga jika kita berguru..bila ilmu sudah tinggi sedikit janganlah mendabik dada hinggakan langit ke tujuh mahu dilangkah..tetapi analogi dan peribahasa yang melibatkan ular dalam masyarakat melayu kebanyakannya bersifat negatif..misalannya..ular bercampur dengan belut idak akan hilang bisanya bermaksud orang yang jahat jika bergaul dengan orang yang baik-baik tidak akan hilang tabiat hasad dan jahatnya..satu lagi yang biasa disebut orang ialah ular berlingkar digulungan tikar yang bermaksud orang jahat yang menyamarkan diri dalam kumpulan orang baik-baik atau lebih tepat lagi dinamakan sebagai munafikin dalam bahasa arab...

semasa di Adelaide dulu, Sis Daljit selalu merujuk orang yang suka membawa mulut atau menuduh orang lain di belakang sebagai snake.."she/he such a snake, you know!"..macam tu laa lebih kurang...dalam cerita Harry Potter: The Chamber of Secret watak ular digunakan sebagai makhluk perosak yang jahat dan cuba memusnahkan Hogwart sebagai Institusi Pendidikan Magis yang terkenal...kesimpulannya di sini janganlah kita menjadi ular atau duduk di bawah bayangan seekor ular yang kemudiannya akan membelit leher kita atau mematuk sehingga mati tidak bernyawa lagi...

bagi sesiapa yang pernah menonton filem animasi Pocahontas yang amat popular pada lewat 90 an dulu mesti teringat dengan lagunya yang popular "Color of the Winds"..dalam bait-bait lirik yang dinyanyikan oleh Vanessa Williams ada menyebut:
You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You learn things you never knewYou never knew

begitulah adat manusia..kalau kita hendak menuntut sesuatu ilmu kita hendaklah yakin dan berpegang kepada satu persoalan logik atau tidak logik? dan persoalan ini hanya terhad kepada ilmu-ilmu manusiawi sahaja...dan satu lagi bait lirik yang amat berguna untuk renungan ialah:
How high does the sycamore grow
If you cut it down, then you'll never know

janganlah kita cepat melatah hanya kerana penampilan pertama seseorang yang baru kita kenali itu nampak lemah...pendek kata, itu hanyalah satu ujian untuk menguji sama ada kita benar-benar ikhlas atau tidak...siapa tahu? Datuk Kame watak utama dalam siri komik kanak-kanak terkenal Mutiara Naga atau Dragon Balls sering berkata kepada Son Goku bahawa di luar sana sentiasa ada manusia yang lebih hebat...itu bukan bermakna bahawa Son Goku tidak hebat tapi keikhlasan menuntut ilmu dan merendah diri itu adalah entiti penting dalam menguasai ilmu pengetahuan...begitu juga dalam satu dialog menarik antara Matt Damon (Will Hunting) dan Robin Williams (Sean Maguire) dan filem Good Will Hunting (1997)

Sean: I thought about what you said to me the other day, about my painting.
Will: Yeah?
Sean: Stayed up half the night thinking about it. Something occurred to me...I fell into a deep peaceful sleep, and haven't thought about you since. Do you know what occurred to me?
Will: No.
Sean: You're just a kid, you don't have the faintest idea what you're talkin' about.
Will: Why thank you.
Sean: It's all right. You've never been out of Boston.
Will: Nope.
Sean: So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable— known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you. That could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it’s like to be her angel. To have that love for her, be there for forever. Through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in a hospital room for two months holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes that the term 'visiting hours' don't apply to you. You don’t know about real loss, because that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you— I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared-shitless kid. But you're a genius Will, no one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me, because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan right?"

[Will nods]

Sean: You think I know the first thing about how hard your life's been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.
So, your move, chief..!!

Isnin, April 02, 2007

bosan..

memang terasa bosan yang amat kali ni...takde member..takde lagi suara student tanya itu ini...ehh..memang bosan ler...nak merayap takde member...takut laa plak..walhal takde laa besar sangat pon Melbourne ni (berlagak laa pulak)...jumaat depan aku ada appmt. dengan Dr Chris...lepas tu hari khamis depan ada End Note tutorial kat library kena pergi jugak...
hmmm..semalam aku aktif bersms dengan perp. krew...raja pun selalu sms..hilang laa jugak kesunyian kat sini...walaupun duduk bilik besar, tangga bersilang-silang macam rumah kurun ke 19 tapi tak apa laa at least ada jugak aktiviti nak buat..harap-harap lepas ni ada laa budak Melayu masuk sewa kat sini..senang siket aku nak ajak dia pi merayap sana-sini....aku baru jer e-mail Christine...tanya khabar dia dan Molly..haiwan angkat kesayanganku...hahahaha...